Each of us authors our own life. How we respond at critical thresholds sets the direction and tone of the next unfolding chapter! What follows is a summary of insights and practices from our most recent program, A Way Forward. Please enjoy!
A Way Forward
The potential for change is amplified at a defining moment or during a period of transition.
Facing an unprecedented demand, challenge or dilemma is actually a powerful window of opportunity. Confronting a situation with no easy answers startles us out of habitual modes of behavior. At these times, the instinctive response of the body, a relationship or organization naturally shifts and prepares for change.
If you know how to work with the inherent wisdom in your own or others responses, you can cultivate powerful, new possibilities, rather than mere re-enactments of the past.
Accurately perceiving what's going on underneath the drama is key.
When we encounter the confusion and conflict that accompanies a critical threshold, it is more helpful to look for what's trying to emerge in life instead of what's wrong or broken. It helps to ask ourselves: What's trying to happen? What might be ending? What's beginning? What needs to mature?
This change of perspective allows us to work with what's in progress. We learn that working with change takes less energy than fighting it. We also begin to realize that some "solutions" make things worse.
Resourcefulness under fire is essential. The ability to stay centered, while deeply connected to others and the world, is the difference that makes the difference. When facing a defining moment, notice how you're responding, and the kind of attitude already in progress. Are you embodying a state of openness, receptivity, fear, or attentiveness?
It is possible to intentionally modify an attitude that's overdone or underdeveloped. Instead of just one response, you can quickly generate and examine several different attitudes; each with its own set of feelings, stories about you, the other, and the situation; plus a corresponding repertoire of resources.
This practice is about intentional movement between distinct somatic responses.
Changing your state this way, generates and reinforces the neural connections essential for new moves in the future.
Learning how to voluntarily alter your own physical-emotional state is the key to self-knowledge, true response-ability, and intimacy.
Changing your attitude "on purpose" also makes it possible to influence your own evolution—your self image, the stories you live by, and the range of responses available to you in any situation.
Relationships also play a huge role in shaping who we become, as well as the direction and quality of our lives.
Good friends are particularly valuable because they gently coax us to remember who we (really) are, and what we're here to be and do. Their companionship and support can amplify and help focus the process of becoming a deeper, more authentic adult.
When selecting friends, or influencing the trajectory of a relationship, discernment is key. Ease into the conversation while what's emerging in your life is still fragile, "half-baked" and in process.
Relationships generate real consequences. Some people won't, or are unable to respect your boundaries or sovereignty. Choose wisely.
Unfortunately, traditional education doesn't offer much when it comes to self-knowledge, relational intelligence, or reliable ways to navigate crucial life transitions.
Yet threshold moments call us to approach life more purposefully rather than accidentally. We can use these choice points and opportunities to transform our lives—but it doesn't happen if left to chance. And it's really hard to do alone.
That's why we created Threshold Arts.
ThresholdArts is a forum for learning how to respond effectively to defining moments that you face now, or will in the near future.
We explore fresh perspectives and new moves that might be required to shift the trajectory of your future.
Our programs offer:
Please join us for:
Healthy Partnerships: The nature of the masculine and feminine. Saturday, March 3, 2012. Woodside Village Church, Woodside, CA.
Forming the Life You Want. Friday, May 4 – Sunday, May 6, 2012. University of California at Berkeley Faculty Club, Berkeley, CA.
